Making Nana happy and at the same time giving some dirty old men a thrill

My Nana is days shy of 89 and beginning to bring on the crazy one person at a time.  I guess she’s earned it by now, after all she is 89, but sometimes she is totally batsh*t crazy and all I can do is laugh my head off.  Her rant this week was over, yes it was cigarrettes again.  She has been smoking for 72 years.  She smokes like a chimney, yet she has outlived EVERYONE.  Doesn’t make a lick of sense to me, but she will not be talked out of her dirty little habit.  She says she likes it, and at her age no one has the right to tell her not to do something that she likes–she’s earned it.  Can’t really argue with that.

So, when I made my daily call to her, she asked whether the boys wanted to come over to her pool.  We didn’t really have anything planned, so I figured OK, it’s a nice day, and she didn’t seem to be totally off her rocker so let’s go.  A few moments later, my cell rings and it’s my cousin’s husband asking if we were going to Nana’s pool.  I had to laugh, because he wanted the same safety in numbers that I usually look for when going to her pool.  Some of those old bitties can be fierce!  So we joined forces, and were going to meet there.

Now the real fun began, what bathing suit could I possibly wear?  I’ve lost a ton of weight (good thing!) but all of the suits that fit me are bikinis, and bikinis are not exactly geezer-friendly.  So I set about to try on every suit I have to find the one that would cover the most without looking dowdy.  C’mon, a girl’s still gotta represent!  So I found one, pulled on the coverup/dress and threw the towels/sunscreen/other crap in a tote & off we went to pickup lunch.  After a ridiculous line @ Subway, and sitting for 20mins waiting for a flag-man to wave us by a street grinding machine (that was mind-numbing), we finally get to Nana’s pool.

She was pissed!  We were a half hour late, and she couldn’t hear a single word I was saying so she was twisted!  After a few minutes, she got over it because the boys gave her some hugs.  Thank god that J-man pulled through with some of his charm.  So we ate quickly and the kids went into the pool with their little cousin Little-B.  Jason & I sat there and chatted for a bit, and then I decided I would get into the pool.  I pulled off my coverup, and I could feel the stares.  The geezer lagoon is not accustomed to seeing bikinis.  I was immediately summoned by Nana.  She asked when I started wearing bikinis (I had to chuckle, I am just a tad over 18 😉 LOL) and then she noticed my piercing but didn’t say a word about it! Hahahahahaha.  She said my suit was very nice, but asked if I could wrap a towel around my waist 🙂  Nope, not gonna happen.  I told her I was getting in the pool.  Well, the water was just a few degrees warmer than ice water, so I just stood on the steps for about a minute & bailed.

Jason & I sat & chatted in the chairs and watched the kids and had a blast watching the old folks.  My Nana introduced us to the same people for the millionth time.  Same old, same old.  Overall, not too painful for a visit to the old folks pool.  I think the key here is safety in numbers 🙂  And mix it up by wearing a bikini and wait for the ‘shock and stares’ 🙂  and hope that it isn’t followed by any thuds and sirens!


1 Comment (+add yours?)

  1. ilene
    Aug 20, 2010 @ 16:27:49

    That is too funny Amy!!! Since when did you start wearing bikinis? lol!! Sometimes I wonder how someone can smoke so much into their late 80’s and thankfully be ok. Now go put a towel around your waist…lmao!!! love it girl!!


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