This post is all about you…..no really it is. But only if your name is Kim :)

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Today, I had a hair appointment with my Stylist Kim. Now, all my fellow sistas out there KNOW that a great stylist is better than a therapy session. Kim is truly the best. I look forward to my appointments every 8 weeks with incredible anticipation. My two hours with her are filled with gossip, laughter, sometimes tears, but I come out feeling and looking like a million bucks! Over the last 18 years she has become one of my best friends. Many of my friends go to her, and she also used to do my Mother’s hair. Today, we literally laughed ourselves into tears. All over the topic in the above picture. She likes to follow my blog, so she caught up on the latest while my “natural” color was perfecting, and we laughed about how people can turn every word you write into a ‘dig’ or hidden meaning. She also helped me figure out a bit of a mystery. So, Kim, this post IS all about YOU. You rock, my sista. Without you, I would not feel pretty on my bad days. Without our ‘hairapy’ sessions, I would truly not be the happy, and therefore positive and well-functioning person I am. You, my dear, are a master at what you do, and truly a wonderful friend. Here’s, to a lifetime of more hairapy sessions :). I have mad love and respect for you! Love you girl!

Words, words, words…and how I use them

If you read my blog, or any of my writing, you can probably tell, I don’t hold much back.  I let my words fly, as fast as my little fingers can keep up on the keys.  One word of advice, don’t try to read between the lines with me.  I’m literal.    I don’t use veiled comments often, if I want to say something, I do.  If I am one thing, it is bold.  When I have spoken in previous posts of my heartache on Valentine’s Day, I was being literal, but if you took the time to actually READ, you would discover my heartache was over the loss of my MOTHER the day after Valentine’s day.  .

When I spoke of discarded “lovers” in another post, I was talking about my Chihuahua, Skippyjonjones’ discarded “lovers”–my dirty panties.  Another .

The fact I have to explain my own words in MY blog is hilarious to me.  Maybe reading comprehension should be part of driver’s license renewal requirements along with vision tests…

Nama-fcking-Ste
Amy

What a difference a year makes…

A year.  365 days.  Think of everything that happens in a year of your life, and it can seem pretty wild at times.  This day last year, it was the beginning of my wild and bumpy mastectomy journey.  May 25, 2011 began with a 10 hour surgery, and it kicked off a series of events that definitely changed me…in more than just the obvious ways 🙂  You know, as a woman, getting your boobs removed is a pretty dramatic event to go thru once.  I did it TWICE on both sides, and FIVE times on the right side.  Yeah, five mastectomies.  Seven surgeries later, I am back together again for the most part, and seeing light at the end of the tunnel. 

I learned a lot about myself this year.  Sure, I’m a tough cookie, and can handle pretty much anything life throws at me.  But I truly learned what my limits were, and how to ask for help.  Another life lesson was how immensely blessed I am to have a wonderful support network of friends and family.  Everyone around me really rallied to keep me laughing, and laughter really does heal the body and soul!  Another lesson was that helping others thru their issues (even when battling mine) made mine feel less daunting. 

I am certainly not Superwoman, nor do I have the secret of life, but I have learned a few things along the way while dealing with this trainwreck of a body I live in…

1) Laugh.  All the time.  Anywhere, anytime, as much as you can, and by any means necessary

2) Do not shut your friends and family out.  Talk, A lot.  Don’t be afraid to ask for help.

3) Don’t live life as a sick person, don’t isolate yourself, and HAVE FUN!

4) Think positively.  It may seem bleak at times, but there is positivity everywhere.

Now, go grab your favorite drink, and toast to a better year!!

Am I “Mom Enough?”

Oh Time Magazine…poor Time Magazine, what shark infested waters you have entered here.  Asking a question like this, especially on an issue like this is like setting yourself on fire in the desert and asking for someone to throw a bucket of water on you.  Am I “Mom Enough?”  Are you freaking kidding me?!?!  If breastfeeding my kid until he drives is being “Mom Enough” then HELL NO!!  If breastfeeding my kid until he asks me to nurse by saying “show me your boobies” or a more vulgar alternative when he gets to be school age, you bet your *ss I’m not!!  Please, if that is what being Mom Enough is all about, I don’t want to be it. 

Just for the record, I am very pro-breastfeeding.  I nursed both of my kids.  One until 7months when he self-weaned, and the other to just about 1 year and I needed to have breast surgery for a ductal mass.  He received breast milk until past a year due to my diligent pumping, And miss-I’m-better-than-you on the cover of Time, you can pump and feed from a CUP!  Imagine that.  There are such apparatus’ out there that allow you to feed your child breast milk other than a breast after babyhood. 

After the toddler period is over, and your kid has teeth, is eating food, making friends and can tell you what they want, cut the damn cord.  I’m all for spending time with your children.  I love mine to bits.  I’m a work at home Mom, but that doesn’t mean my kids have the right to be going down my shirt all the time.  I had a Mastectomy in May 2011, does it mean that I am especially not “Mom Enough” now that I don’t have Breasts?  I still have my girly bits, and they are in full working order, I’m only 41, and it is very feasible that I could have another child if I really wanted to (don’t worry, I’m not going to…my health sucks now) but I couldn’t breast feed without breasts.  So no TIME, by your ridiculous standards, I am no longer “Mom Enough”.  Thanks for rubbing it in you bunch of misogynistic jerks!  I know I am a great Mother, but just in time to celebrate Mother’s day without a Mother, You have made a legion of Mothers feel less than enough. Hope that shoeleather tastes great! 

A new start…

February 7th, I had my 5th breast reconstruction.  Yeah, #5.  Except this time, I had an amazing surgeon that actually knew what he was doing.  Ooooh, did I say that out loud?  From the moment I was brought up to my room after the recovery area, the nurses were coming in to gawk at my reconstruction.  Seriously.  Which was pretty funny after awhile because they had to check the ‘flap’ every hour, so I had a stream of people checking me out.  I probably had a janitor, and someone from the cafeteria looking at some point, and I’d never know. lol 

The recovery from this surgery has been quite a bit harder due to the abdominal donor site–boy does that hurt like a mo-fo.  I’m walking hunched over like a 90yr old and living in track suits.  I pretty much look like I’m ready for the assisted living facility!  They seem to have pretty nice amenities at most of these places, so…sign me up 😉  Ha!  I’m just ready to go back to living a normal life whatever that is.

We did make one other new start…we rescued an 11month old pug/chihuahua cross puppy.  He is absolutely adorable with an enormous personality.  How he ended up in a kill shelter, and then in a rescue, I can’t imagine.  He is absolutely delicious!  Our other rescues, a Chihuahua, and a puggle (both 5yrs old) weren’t entirely sure about him the first day, but now  LOVE him.  He is great comic relief and a wonderful furry nursemaid 🙂

So, here is to new boobs, new puppies, and fresh Imagestarts…

Where did THAT come from??

My men, both small and large, have an issue…putting movies back in their boxes.  It has been the source of much aggravation.  Every single time I go to look for movie, it becomes an hour long search because movies are either : a) not in a box, or b) not in the correct box.  Really, it takes the same amount of time to put the movie in the correct box as the wrong one!!  Lol.

  I’m not a yelling parent, I really only scream if I can’t get thru to them, or their life is at risk.  A few months ago, I spent literally 4 hrs putting about 180 movies back into their correct homes…without assistance.  At this point, both spawn swore that it would NEVER happen again, or they would sacrifice valuable things to me.  My spawn are almost 11 and 13… Old enough to handle this and follow thru.

Well, they all fell short. On Xmas eve we wanted to watch a movie, I was asked to find it, and same old sh*t.  Movies were all helter skelter.  To say I was pissed off is the understatment of the Millenium.    I flipped Out!! 

During the flip out, I discovered a ton of missing movies and boxes.  I asked both boys to search their messy rooms.  Spawn #1 found 1.  Spawn #2, who is an incredible slob, insisted he had none. NONE.

Today while I was assisting Spawn 2 clean his pit of a room, I found 23 movies and boxes.  TWENTY THREE that weren’t in there :). Funny that I found movies that didn’t exist :). Amazing what you can find if you just keep things tidy.

I’m about to be reorganized :) and I’m not talking about my closets…

If you have been following along in my crazy saga, you know I’ve had a bit of an issue with my mastectomy reconstruction.  Well…that is sort of the understatement of the century.  I’ve had 5 failed reconstructions.  Tomorrow, I will be undergoing another reconstruction but this time it will be with a new surgeon, and a totally different type of surgery. 

Right now, I’m feeling anxious, but more than anything, I just would like to be able to move on with my life.  I have lived the entire past 12 months recovering from some sort of serious injury or a surgery…this will be the 6th surgery in that time period.  Not asking for pity…really!  I just want to be able to get out, have fun with my kids, make vacation plans and actually be able to swim on said vacation!! 

I’m positive about this surgery.  It should give me my body back, my life back, and I’ll get a fringe benefit of a tummy tuck from the transplant donor site out of it ;). Have to look for the silver lining in those clouds!

So as I sit here frantically making lists for last minute details, and trying to get things done, think a positive thought or prayer if you are so inclined for me…I can use all the good luck I can get tomorrow 🙂

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